Another reason to eat Cheetos and sit on the couch...

A man died today while participating in the Chicago marathon. It was very hot and humid, and according to the report I read online tonight, Chad Schieber's heart stopped and he died right there on the race course. That sucks, and I don't say that lightly.

I figure Mr. Schieber probably fit into one of three categories of runners: first, perhaps he was an extremely fit man who ran marathons on a regular basis. Second, perhaps he was an old jock who ran to try to stay in shape and stave off the ravages of middle age. Third, perhaps he was a man who had gotten way out of shape and decided to set a major goal that would require him to get back in shape and get his life back onto a healthy course. I have a friend like that. The Chief used to run all the time, and he was even training for a marathon about 20 years ago or so until he fell on his head and suffered a major injury, which threw his training right out the window. He decided to get back out on the road and wound up setting a goal to run in the Little Rock marathon, and he did it. The Chief earned the biggest finisher's medal in the world.

Inaway, there is some irony in a guy dying while running a marathon. Unless he was way too lumpy to be running that far when it's 88 degrees (26.2 miles...are you serious?), Chad Schieber is evidence of this fact: when it's your time to go, it's your time. The Bible says that no one can add any length to their life by worrying, and I would submit that the same is true of running, eating brussel sprouts, and driving a Toyota Prius. People like to euphamistically say something like, "The Big Guy upstairs had another plan." Folks, just for the record, let's be clear here. The Big Guy upstairs is God, and what He says goes... there ain't no fountain of youth and there ain't no arguing.

By the way, I'm watching the Beloved as I type this thing, and brother, do they stink. How can it be that you can't find even an average quarterback in twenty years? My nephew JD runs harder than Cedric Benson, my son Drew makes better decisions than Griese/Grossman, and The Octopus (Braden, our 19-month-old) drops fewer passes than Bernard Berrien. Oh well, at least the Cubs got knocked out of the playoffs.

On that note, which of these two scenarios is more desirable? Scenario #1: finish 25 games out of the division lead like the Sox and have plenty of time to lick your wounds in private, or Scenario #2: win the division by virtue of being the least bad team in a dogcrap division like the Cubs, then proceed to the national stage and get beat as fast as possible in humiliating fashion. Cub fans take heart: next year is the 100th anniversary of your last championship, so the odds are getting better and better all the time. I was cracked up hard core by Lou Pinella's post-game conference. His team just picked up the soap and got prison-shower raped by the Diamondbacks, then Old Blou had the gumption to go on the talkbox and say, "We made a lot of progress this year, and next year we'll do better." Hey Lou, seven of the eight teams who made the playoffs in '06 did not make it in '07, and your team isn't the Yankees. Year after year less than half the teams who make the playoffs do not make it back the following year. In fact, each of the last three World Series champs has failed to make the playoffs the following year. But Lou has the gall to say that they're just getting started. The Cubs managed 85 wins this year in a division that is, bar none, the worst in baseball. The Sox only had 13 fewer wins (granted, that's a lot), and they had an unbelievably bad year. Go, Cubs, Go...go away.

For all those of you who are Cubs fans and are itching to post a comment, take heart...next year will be here in five months, and you can begin the process of dying slowly all over again!

Thank you for reading my rant, and enjoy the mushrooms.